Almost
by perlumi
Summary: Yelling doesn't fix issues. Crying doesn't either. Nothing ever does.


First published on my tumblr, for the prompt "Looks like we'll be trapped for a while..." As always, please excuse my mistakes, and feel free to leave a review !

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There's a laugh and the sound of a door slamming, and Lithuania opens his eyes, suddenly woken up. He looks around him, and frowns slightly. He is in the meeting room, alone. He must have zoned off, he thinks ashamedly. He can't be so sleep deprived as to almost fall asleep during a meeting right ? He glances at the door, and at the same time hears Prussia's voice, as annoying as ever :

"Hey loser, since you like it so much here, I'm sure you don't mind if I lock the room for a while right ?!"

He hears Prussia's laugh again, and then nothing. Lithuania freezes. Did that bastard seriously just lock him inside ? He gets up immediately and runs toward the door, trying frantically to open it, until he hears a voice coming from behind him.

"It's no use, he locked the door."

Lithuania turns around and falls face to face with Russia, who is still sitting at his place of the meeting table. If he thought things couldn't get much worse -because Prussia's annoying tricks are awful enough- he is now locked in a room, alone with Russia. Who is probably the last person Lithuania wants to be trapped with. Hell, even Prussia would probably be better. But by the way, why is Russia even here ? Lithuania is only half surprised by his ex-rival's prank, but has Prussia purposefully locked up Russia too ? That sounds a little less like him, because no one likes to mess with Russia like this.

"Russia, why are you here ? Did Prussia know that you were here ?"

Russia only shrugs, and stands up.

"Probably. But I don't mind being locked here with you, you know."

Lithuania bits his lip at Russia's playful tone. It nearly sounds like Russia stayed on purpose. What has he done to deserve this ? He hates everything about this situation. Russia is watching him with a light smile on the face, and Lithuania starts feeling uncomfortable. He knows Russia won't try anything -probably- but that doesn't comfort him. He walks away from the door, because it's no use anyway, and considers just working until someone come to free them. WIth a sigh, he sits down and glances at his incomplete notes. If he wants to complete them, he is going to have to borrow someone else's. Well, he will just ask Poland to lend them to him, he thinks, even if his friend will probably mock him a little before for not listening.

Fingers tapping lightly againt the table, Lithuania tries to concentrate -in vain. Every few seconds, he looks at Russia, who is standing near the window, pretending to look outside when he just takes any occasion he can to report his eyes on Lithuania. This little game goes on for a while in the most perfect silence before Russia breaks it.

"Looks like we'll be trapped for a while..."

Lithuania's grip on his pen tightens at Russia's words. He sounds so smug that Lithuania actually wants to punch him. He won't do it of course, because this is nor the time nor the place, and he doesn't like to hit people, but he feels so helpless and anxious that he can feel his heart beating fast in his chest. Just as he thinks that it can't get any worse, Russia gets closer to him, feigning to look at his notes.

"Your notes are always so neat, it's incredible."

The words are almost whispered against his ear, and Lithuania can't take it anymore. He gets up to face Russia, eyes fierce and fists clenched to resist the desire to grip the other by his collar. "What do you want, Russia ?" Lithuania says as calmly as he can. "If you want to mess with me, please know that I won't let you. This is only funny to you."

Lithuania wants to laugh when Russia's face crumbles; he looks surprised and saddened by Lithuania's words, and immediately takes a step back.

"No ! I'm not messing with you, I never have !"

Confusion is written all over his face, and his violet eyes are on the verge of tearing up. Lithuania rolls his eyes, bitter. No, of course no, Russia never used to mess with him on a regular basis when he still lived at his house. He takes a step forward, and Russia another step back. It feels like the roles are reversed, and Lithuania suddenly feels more in power than he ever has. He used to be afraid of Russia, to be anxious and stressed when he was with him. Now he just feels sad and tired as he watches the apprehension in Russia's eyes.

... It seems that Russia is afraid of his next move, and it's so messed up and ironical that Lithuania just laughs at the absurdity of the situation. Then he realizes that he is crying too, and wipes the tears in a swift gesture.

"You hurt me back there Russia. A lot. I know that you don't mean any harm, but still, I can't forget the fear I sometimes felt before you."

It's Russia who's crying now, and he lets himself fall on his knees, looking absolutely devastated by what Lithuania said. Holding back a sob, Lithuania kneel face to Russia, cupping his face in his hands. He wonders if it is because he is a free country that it feels like Russia is almost frightened by him, or if he has always had that power against Russia.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" Russia says as he keeps on crying, his cheeks damp. "I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to frighten you. I miss you so much, Litv-" Russia stops before finishing the word. That name too was never meant to be anything else than a proof of love, and yet the only proof it holds is that of Russia's selfishness and possessiveness. And Russia panicks, because he is going to mess up everything again, but Lithuania stops him before he can speak.

"It's alright. You have nothing to say" Lithuania whispers, his hands caressing Russia's cheeks. "I know." Russia is sobbing now, new tears falling from his eyes onto his face, on Lithuania's hands, which continue to stroke gently his skin in a comforting way.

Lithuania closes his eyes, and approaches his face from Russia's own. Their foreheads touch, and they stay like this for what seems forever, silence only broken by Russia's shaky breath. Lithuania tries to stay focused on what is happening but he can't help but remember the time where he lived with Russia. This kind of intimacy was frequent then, and welcomed. Beyond every fear, every worry, every ulgy scar and selfish word there was a whisper, a caress, something that made their heart beat with love instead of regret.

Those times are gone now.

They can't be together again, for remorse took the place of their happiness. -And yet they still understand in each other's silences the unspoken words and declarations. (and maybe, maybe, they both hope, a time will come where they won't be afraid anymore, where they will finally be at peace with what they shared.)

Green eyes open again and meet violet ones. They stare at each other for a few more moments, lost in the contemplation of what they buried in their memories.

They are so close that their lips are almost touching. Almost.


End file.
